I'm Hungry

               A couple of weeks ago while I was taking care of Nora and Evalyn, two of my granddaughters, Evalyn, who is two, approached me in the kitchen. “I’m hungry, Grandma. I’m hungry,” she said. I checked the clock to discover it was indeed time for an afternoon snack. In fact, I joined her and Nora for a brief break as we watched the Disney movie, Finding Dory.  When we finished our snack, Nora and Evalyn continued to watch the movie while I returned to the kitchen to create a casserole for supper.

               I hadn’t been in the kitchen ten minutes when I heard tiny steps draw near behind me. “I’m hungry, Grandma.” 

               I looked at Evalyn. “You’re still hungry?”

               She nodded her head, “Uh huh.” Now who could resist that sweet face??                                 

Since the first snack consisted of a fun-size packet of teddy grahams, I cut up half an apple for her.  However, it hadn’t been but twenty minutes or so when Evalyn approached a third time.  Still hungry!!

               I asked Nora who was happily playing with a set of old-fashioned glamour gals if Evalyn was always this hungry at home.  Nora smiled and said she was, but at home her requests were often ignored, especially after her first snack. I thought that was probably the case. BUT, this Grandma gave in and Evalyn enjoyed a third snack, a small cup of cheese puffs.  Yes, I’m a “sucker” when it comes to my grandkids J

               Several days later as I was remembering the grandkids’ visit, I thought of Evalyn and her hunger for snacks. I was reminded of another kind of hunger…a spiritual hunger. Just as Evalyn sought me to satisfy her hunger with a snack so can I seek my Heavenly Father to satisfy my hunger. When I find my faith wavering and growing weak or when I’m depressed and doubting myself and others, I realize I need nourishment. So….I approach my Father by talking to Him, sometimes out loud and other times in silence.  As I express my concerns, my worries, my failings as well as my joys and blessings, I begin to be filled with His assurance and hope.  However, if I’m still not satisfied (still hungry), I turn to the pages of His Holy Word which not only reveal new insights and answers but also provide comfort and confidence. These help in subsiding my hunger pains, but then…like Evalyn, I’m still hungry…so…God in His patience, kindness and goodness leads me to other Christian materials as well as to trustworthy Christian friends who bring me encouragement.

               Now, with all these spiritual “foods” to satisfy my spiritual hunger, my craving subsides but is never complete because my hunger for God’s Son, Jesus, never stops.  That’s the way it is with a personal relationship with Jesus. The more I have and receive from Him, the more I want of Him. Like a Grandmother who responds to the wants of her grandchildren, Jesus fills the emptiness of all who hunger.

“And Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.’”  John 6:35

Smoke Below

               In August of 2015 Larry and I took a trip to Oregon to visit our oldest daughter. As our plane flew from Denver to Seattle, I noticed that the usual scenic view below was not as clear as on other trips.  Of course, weather conditions always played a factor, but this time the atmosphere was different.  The further west we travelled, the less landscape we could see.  Then, it suddenly dawned on me.  Our view was obstructed by smoke from the fires that had invaded the states of Washington and Oregon.  In fact, when I looked from the plane’s window, I saw fire lines and smoke rising as the lines stretched across the land.  It was a concerning sight, to say the least.

               When we arrived in Eugene, we had distanced ourselves from the devastating fire lines, but hazy conditions from the smoke had settled over the city.  Our daughter commented that warnings of unhealthy air quality had been issued off and on since the fires began.  This kind of health warning was relatively new to Larry and me since the quality of air in Western Kansas was seldom questioned.  However, if it were, ours would probably be a warning dealing with dust rather than smoke.  Throughout our stay, the haze remained.  Consequently, much of our sightseeing ventures weren’t as breathtaking as if the atmosphere would have been clearer.

               The wildfires of Washington and Oregon continued for several more weeks. In fact, the 2015 wildfire season was the largest in the state of Washington’s history.  Having witnessed a small portion of this historical event later brought some thoughts to mind.  Just as the smoke from the wildfires prevented us from enjoying the beauty of the landscape so does sin prevent us from enjoying a close fellowship with God, our Heavenly Father.

               Those wildfires in Washington were ignited by something, whether it was a single match or a campfire or an act of nature. Likewise, sin begins with a temptation, whether it is by thought, by word or by action.  Once the temptation takes hold, the flame is lit and spreads its influence throughout all areas of a person’s life.  No matter whether a person is a Christian or not, sin corrupts us all. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)  However, when the Washington wildfires were finally contained and the smoke began to clear, the landscape soon became visible from the air.  Despite the destructive force of the fire, with the clearing came new growth along with new beginnings, although both would take time to heal.  Such as it is with our fellowship with God.

               Sin separates us from our communion with God, our Father. But once we come to our senses, we can find ourselves back to Him.  How?  By admitting our sins to Him.   As King David of the Old Testament admits to us in Psalm 32:5, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah” Also, another verse in the New Testament from I John confirms King David’s testimony.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9

               I know from personal experience that when I have turned my back away from Jesus, I have felt guilt, stress, and shame. BUT as soon as I apologize and admit my wrongdoings, I feel a freshness of life and my fellowship with Jesus returns even closer than it was before. The smoke has cleared.

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Christmas Memories

              Some of the most cherished Christmas memories I hold snugly in my heart center around the kitchen where my mom and my grandma would prepare trays filled with an assortment of homemade cookies and candies to be delivered to family and friends.  For several days a variety of sweet-smelling aromas filtered throughout our house.  At times the temptation to sample the once a year delicacies was too much so I would snitch a Christmas tree sugar cookie or a piece of divinity.  Yes, I was usually caught but kindly forgiven.  However, once the trays were completed for delivery, our family enjoyed the leftovers. J

               But it wasn’t until Mom asked me to go with her to deliver the trays that I discovered the true meaning of giving.  The look on the recipients’ faces when Mom handed them a tray and their words of gratitude brought joy to my heart. Something inside me transformed as I witnessed the Spirit of Jesus in action. It was thrilling to be a part of this Christmas gift.

               Another special memory of mine took place at the annual children’s Christmas Eve program at our church.  I was cast as Mary from the Christmas story.  Being a second or third grader ( I don’t recall which one), I was excited to play the part of Mary. There were no speaking parts, just action.  I remember walking down the aisle with Joseph beside me and taking our places around a wooden manger in front of the altar.  As the narrator told the familiar story with the coming and going of angels, shepherds and wise men, I felt honored to be portraying Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Even now after all these years, the scene remains vivid in my memory and warms my soul.

               Of course, included in my Christmas memories were the gathering of family and the exchanging of gifts.  One special gift that surpassed all others was the arrival of a puppy that welcomed me with whimpering and licks of love as he leaped from a decorated box lying under the tree. I was so surprised and thrilled that I called him “Happy.”  Happy, part Chihuahua and terrier, became my best buddy through my junior and senior high school years.  His devotion and affection brought me joy, comfort, and unconditional love, characteristics of Jesus who entered our lives at Christmas.

               And because of Christ’s arrival, my Christmas memories wouldn’t be complete without those simple but significant Christmas Eve candlelight services.  In my home church the children’s Christmas program was held on Christmas Eve at 6:30 and then at 11 o’clock, the candlelight service began. As I grew older, I came to understand the candlelight service with a deeper spiritual appreciation. The special music, the Christmas hymns, the message of Christmas, the lighting of the candles, and the silence upon departure drew me closer to the heart of Jesus, who was born for me and for the entire world.

               Since our home was only a block from the church, my family would often walk the short distance, weather permitting. I remember one night in particular when I walked ahead of everyone else. The stillness of the night surrounded me while the cold, crisp air refreshed me.  I looked up and what seemed like thousands of bright, glittering stars covered the ebony sky. It was breathtaking!!  When I turned the corner toward our house, I imagined what the shepherds must have felt as the angels appeared with the announcement of our Savior’s birth.  Truly, the ultimate GIFT!!

“And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!’”  Luke 2: 13-14    

A Gift from My Nook

               The second day after Larry’s total knee replacement surgery, he texted me about 8:30 in the morning that he might be dismissed. I was still in bed at our daughter’s house and reading his message woke me with a fright. Flashbacks of his dismissal from the hospital after his first knee replacement surgery swept through my mind.  When we had arrived home from his first surgery, his pain level had worsened so much so that we contacted his surgeon who was unavailable at that time. We managed to speak to the doctor on call and eventually received stronger pain medication. Then, beside the pain, there was concern about blood clots. Consequently, these memories created anxiousness within me when Larry said he might be dismissed, a day earlier than anticipated.

               I hurriedly dressed, packed my bags, and drove to the hospital. When I arrived, Larry was resting in bed.  I must have looked in disarray because he asked if I were okay.  I confessed that I felt anxious, especially with the possibility of his being dismissed.  Selfishly, I wasn’t prepared to be the home “nurse” quite yet.

               As I struggled with these concerns, I felt my spirit struggling as well. In my haste to get to the hospital, I had failed to release my misgivings to God.  In fact, the words from one of my favorite Bible verses, Psalm 18:2, kept eluding me, and this frustrated me even more. Trying to pull my emotions together, I found comfort from the morning sun’s warm rays as I sat in a chair near the window in his room.  I glanced at Larry who had fallen asleep.  In that solemn atmosphere I remembered I had a copy of the Bible on my nook. Immediately, I grabbed my nook from my purse, woke it up, and selected the Bible from my library.  When the page opened, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Psalm 18:2 stared at me from the screen. “The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”  Oh my…the verse I was struggling to remember appeared before me. To me it was a small miracle, a gift from God, as though He had selected the page for me. I was genuinely in awe of God’s goodness!!  I read the verse over and over and praised my Father for His Presence. I continued to read and rest in the LORD.

               When Larry woke from his nap, it was mid-morning and no definite word of his dismissal was mentioned. In fact, the entire south wing of the hospital where his room was located seemed rather quiet. A CNA entered and checked his vitals as well as his pain level. She then commented that she had heard that he might be going home. With her comment, I asked Larry if he felt he was ready to be dismissed. He, too, was somewhat apprehensive. We had nothing to do but wait.

               Lunch time arrived. While Larry ate his food, I left the hospital, not only for lunch but also to process what lay before us.  After buying my food, I parked the car in the hospital parking lot, ate, again thanked God for showing me the verse, and relaxed.  All the various emotions of the morning had tired me.  Then, as I rested, I was reminded of a text I had recently received from my Christian soul sister in Hong Kong. She had expressed her concern for Larry’s surgery and for me as well.  In fact, she said she had asked her colleagues to pray for us too. With that reminder of prayer and the support of her words plus the prayers of other prayer warriors, my body and my mind were filled with an unexplainable sense of peace. Sitting alone in the silent car refreshed my soul. Hope returned! I knew without a doubt that God would give me the strength, the energy, and the patience I would need to help Larry through the weeks of recovery. After all, He is my ROCK!!!

               As it turned out, Larry was not dismissed that day because his PT session did not go well and his pain level had risen.  He stayed one more night and was dismissed the next day. Both of us were better prepared, thanks to God who was involved throughout our ordeal. He was the “ behind the scenes” guy, orchestrating all things for our good: prayers and support of family and friends, the successful surgery and the care of the health providers, the special Bible verse, the comforting peace, the reassurance of His Presence, and much more.  He had known our needs before we did and had followed through with His faithfulness, His protection, His care, and His love.

“It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.” Isaiah 65:24

“In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.” Psalm 94:19

My Personal Oasis

              When I entered the church that I had grown up in to attend my Aunt Margaret’s Memorial Service, I felt like I had come home. Being there brought countless memories. From my infancy through my marriage, Bethlehem Lutheran Church had a major influence in growing my faith in Jesus Christ. From all the church activities my family was involved in, like Sunday school and church services, Vacation Bible School, Luther League, choir, Christmas programs, special services, etc., my favorite experience was being in the sanctuary alone with Jesus. In fact, I claimed it as my “oasis” amidst the often confusing and challenging ways of the world.

               When I thought of an oasis, I imagined an attractive area filled with an array of trees and shrubbery along with a beautiful assortment of flowers, like a secret garden.  A pool of water or several watering holes might have been dispersed among the growing vegetation. An oasis in the middle of a desert offered rest, refreshment, and renewal to the sun-parched travelers crossing the arid land.  It was a place of refuge and safety, a place to regain energy and zeal, and a place to recondition one’s mind and body.  Likewise, the church, the physical structure, a place to worship God, became my personal oasis.

               Today, whenever I walk into any place of worship, whether it is my “hometown” church or one of the many I’ve attended through the years, I feel a special sense of His Presence.  This awareness is difficult to describe because it comes from within. I must admit I am more in tune with this awareness when I am alone in God’s house.  However, its similarity is to that of my personal oasis of my youth. I find rest, refreshment, and renewal within its walls.

               Once inside the church, I am greeted by a quiet, calm atmosphere that relaxes not only my body but also my mind. As I sit in a pew or on a chair, I pause for rest because life’s trials often wear me down. Peace surrounds me and the only disturbance might be a passing vehicle outside. I take time to look at the surroundings and marvel at the various pieces of art displayed through stained-glass windows or elaborate, cloth banners.  It’s a beautiful setting, giving honor to God through works of art.

               As I rest, I find myself becoming refreshed.  There in the presence of my Father, I feel no condemnation because as Romans 8:1 states, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”  I can be myself…no pretense. I can freely express myself without interruption, insult, or correction while God gently listens. Of course, I am certainly aware of my shortcomings but more fully aware of His unfailing love and forgiveness. This time of prayer brings my refreshment.

               There in the quiet I notice that my inner strength and confidence are being renewed. My attitude toward myself, toward others, and toward life in general is becoming positive and hopeful once again. I have the faith and reassurance that God is continually by my side. “And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” Deut. 31:8.  With a sigh, I’m reluctant to leave this peaceful sanctuary and return to the world outside. But for a brief moment, I have found rest, refreshment and renewal.

               May you, my readers, find your personal “oasis”.

“Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him…” Psalm 37:7a

“Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord…” Acts 3:19

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”  Psalm 51: 10

Small Blessings

              Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven…” The verses that follow list a variety of larger issues which happen throughout life. We tend to take notice of these “big” events in life, but what about the smaller, often overlooked occurrences along life’s path?

               As I age, I find myself appreciating the “little” things in life more than ever before. For instance, the other day while shopping in Garden City, I decided to eat lunch at Burger King. However, since I was alone, I drove through the drive-thru, paid for my food, and parked under the shade of a tree in a neighboring parking lot.  When I took a bite of French fries, my taste buds quickly notified me that the fries needed salt.  But to my relief, I remembered placing a packet of salt in the car’s ash tray a long time ago. I sprinkled the seasoning upon the French fries, and my taste buds were ecstatic! No fries ever tasted better!!

               Then, at a family gathering we were eating our evening meal on the deck. Everyone was scattered in various places, but I couldn’t help notice my grandchildren. Being children, they were actively chowing down their food and being silly with each other…so carefree and innocent.  But, highlighting the meal was the sight of dripping watermelon juice from the wide, smiling mouth of a very  satisfied three year old. A simple piece of watermelon brought a “bite” of joy to my granddaughter as well as to me watching her.

                Later, after the grandkids had finished eating, they scampered off in all directions, both outside and inside the house. However, I couldn’t help but overhear one of my grandsons inquire about a locust skin he saw clinging to the tree bark.  While my son answered his questions, I was drawn to pleasant childhood memories of when my neighborhood pals made a game of collecting locust skins during the summer. Every morning (when we remembered) we would take a long, cane fishing pole (to knock off the ones located out of our reach) and glass jars and walk around our block and neighboring blocks to find the skins. At the end of summer we would count them to discover who had collected the most (no prize awarded – finding them was award enough). Then we’d empty our jars and let them fly with the wind.  This fun memory had slipped my mind but resurfaced from an inquisitive child.

               Other happenings have caught my attention since learning to appreciate the finer things in life. While I was driving to work, I noticed a streak of light blue sky appearing through gray-covered clouds that had been lingering for several days. A flash of energy crept within me at the unexpected sight and a hope of brighter days ahead engulfed me. Then, one day while I was walking down a grocery aisle, a smiling stranger said “Hi” as she passed me. Her welcoming gesture caught me by surprise, but it left me feeling special. Now I aim to pass on her kindness to another. But of all the “little” outstanding parts of life, one of the best features is receiving a hug that penetrates to my heart, warming my soul. Lately, I’ve received several of those hugs and the warmth remains with me.

               While experiencing those various, non-dramatic circumstances of everyday life, I had felt God’s nearness in them.  His appearance was made known by problem-solving, satisfying smiles, pleasant childhood memories, nature’s beauty, friendly greetings, and unforgettable hugs. No matter the season of our lives and no matter the significance of our circumstances, God blesses us in His own unique way. So, my friends, learn to appreciate the common, uncomplicated events in life and take notice of God’s participation.

“Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits,

The God of our salvation!” Psalm 68:19

“Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,

And for His wonderful works to the children of men!” Psalm 107:31

Wise Words

              We who believe in God have an amazing Father. Throughout my life He has demonstrated His love, His faithfulness, His care and His forgiveness not only by extraordinary events but in my daily routine as well.  As I grow spiritually, I am discovering that God often touches our lives through unusual measures. In fact, recently He used distraction to get my attention.

               For several weeks I had been dreading the arrival of two minor medical procedures I needed to have done: a gastroscopy and a colonoscopy. Actually, it was the prep day regiment that was causing me more anguish than the scopes. I had had a colonoscopy ten years ago and had an unpleasant experience with the prep day procedure so I had reasons to be concerned. However, this time my concern had turned to fear.  Full of anxiousness, I recruited several prayer warriors from my family as well as from my spiritual sisters.  Even with their support I felt edgy.  I was constantly talking with Jesus about my apprehension, and He kept reminding me to TRUST Him.  He provided words of encouragement and assurance through devotions, text and face book messages from my prayer warriors, a special card from my Bible translator friend, and a kiss and a hug from one of the sweetest, older ladies I know whom I hadn’t seen in months. All of these encounters were Jesus’ way of showing His faithfulness. But the most significant reassurance came on the day before my procedures.

               On Sunday as my husband and I were driving to where I was to have these medical tests done, we received word that my Aunt Margaret had died early that morning. Aunt Margaret was my mom’s sister and my godmother. From my birth Aunt Margaret had been a part of my life.  Having married my dad’s brother, Aunt Margaret was like my second Mom.  Our families, despite the distance separating us, remained close. Holidays, special family gatherings, shared vacations, and sleep-overs kept us together through the years. Our families were like one big unit, always there for each other.

               After hearing about her passing, tears filled my eyes as I drove. Memories flooded my mind as I visualized her bright, infectious smile. She and I had spent many special moments together…too many to write in this post. However, with all the memories surfacing, one telephone conversation we had had toward the end of last year struck dear to my heart at this time.

               When my mom passed away in 2004, Aunt Margaret took her place for the person to talk to for encouragement and advice. I was going through a down time so I called her. Hearing her voice immediately perked me up. We discussed many topics, joked and laughed, and as our conversation came to an end, we decided we could not live in this life without Jesus and wondered what people did who didn’t have Him.  Her comments about Jesus and His importance in our lives renewed my hope and attitude that day.

               Aunt Margaret’s love for Jesus shined through her servant’s heart. She was a giving, thoughtful person, ready to share not only material goods but her faith in God as well.  I admired her strength of character, her enthusiasm for life, her skill at playing cards J, and her glowing personality.  She was my aunt, my godmother, my spiritual mentor, and my friend.

 As I reminisced those special memories, I felt a peace pass through me. With tears subsiding, I noticed soft, white whispy clouds appearing in the blue sky. Suddenly, I became aware that I had completely forgotten my impending prep day. It was like God had provided a distraction. No longer was my focus on me but on my cousins who had just lost their mother. And by that distraction, I was reminded of my Aunt Margaret’s wise words about needing Jesus in our lives no matter what.

               Fortunately, I did have Jesus, but in my fear of facing the medical procedures, I had forgotten that, even with all the support I had received. I had failed to completely trust Jesus to take care of me…to place the worry in His Hands. So in the quiet of my soul, I asked Jesus to forgive me and thanked Him for my Aunt Margaret whose wisdom encouraged me even through death. As for my preparation and scopes, all went well. Thanks be to God!

A special verse reflecting the life of my Aunt Margaret: 

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Mat. 5: 16

A special verse for worriers:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil. 2: 6 -7